You know you love your partner. So why do you feel so distant?

“I am so lonely in this relationship. He doesn’t understand what I’m going through and why I’m so upset. I am so tired of having the same argument over and over. It doesn’t matter what I do, it’s never enough. Why won’t she just back off and stop criticizing me? We never spend time together anymore. We’re always with the kids, working, or on our phones. I’d love to have sex more often, but it feels like we never want it at the same time. I’m afraid that this thing we’re going through is going to ruin our relationship. I’m afraid that we’ll keep drifting apart and never recover.”

 Your relationship with your partner has so much impact on who you are and your quality of life. If your relationship is secure, you feel secure. If your relationship is suffering, you suffer.

 Most people want their relationship to be happy and healthy, but often don’t know how to make it better when they start to drift or when they start having more conflict. It’s especially tough to know how to reconnect when something stressful or really painful happens. Even though this is the time when you really need to be able to lean on each other, so many couples drift apart and stop communicating.

 But how can things get better?

Your relationship can get better; sometimes you might just need some help to get there. So many couples come into my office broken, disconnected, angry, and not even sure if they love each other anymore (much less like each other). They don’t know where to start or how to heal.

If you’re willing to work, willing to listen, willing to be vulnerable (even if that all sounds really hard!), things can change. Healing can happen. I’ve seen it. And I’d love to help. I have advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which is supported by decades of research and is considered to be the gold standard for couples therapy. I utilize EFT in conjunction with other empirically validated methods to help you and your partner transform your relationship into something you love that brings you joy.

In couples therapy, I can help you:

-Share with your partner how you’re feeling and why you react the way you do. I’ll help you share this in a way that they can actually hear and understand.

-Understand your partner’s perspective…even if it’s really different from yours.

-Figure out the cycle that happens when you fight or when you disconnect from each other.

-Learn new ways to respond to each other… so that you don’t have the same argument over and over again.

-Reconnect sexually and address any barriers to your sexual relationship.

-Get through a painful or stressful experience feeling like you’re a team.

-Get support in the aftermath of an affair and begin to work towards healing.

-Feel cared for, understood, and hopeful about the future.

So what’s next?

If you’re ready, schedule your initial phone consult. We’ll chat, I’ll hear a little about you and your relationship and we’ll make sure I’m the right fit for you. From there, you can schedule your first couples session.

You and your partner will both fill out intake paperwork online through a secure client portal. The paperwork gives me good information about you and your relationship so that I’m ready for the first session. Some clients even say that the paperwork helps them begin to think about aspects of their relationship that they hadn’t thought about in a long time.

What will our first session be like?

We’ll meet for our first session for 75 minutes. This will give us plenty of time to really talk about what’s going on, and for me to start understanding you and your relationship. I’ll ask a lot of question and begin helping you both not only understand yourself and what you’re needing in the relationship, but express it to your partner in a different way. We’ll begin to make shifts in the way you communicate with each other, as well as talk about practical things to be working on in between sessions.

Most couples have weekly 60-90 minute sessions for a few months, or until they begin to make improvement in their relationship. Some couples opt to be seen more frequently or for more intensive sessions.

When you’re starting to really feel like things are better – like you’re a team again – then we’ll decrease to every other week until you’re ready to end therapy. I love it when couples get to this point – where they no longer need me because they’ve made so much improvement!

Are you ready?

Schedule your initial phone consultation here.

Still have questions?

Go to Frequently Asked Questions