Sometimes trying to grow your family is hard. A lot harder than you imagined.

You and your partner may have planned for the perfect time to start trying to have a baby…but things haven’t gone so perfectly. So many couples struggle at various points in their journey toward parenthood.

 Trying to Conceive

Maybe pregnancy isn’t happening as quickly as you imagined. Every month you track your ovulation symptoms, have sex the perfect number of times in your fertile window, then begin the anxious, yet always hopeful, two week wait. But each month, you are disappointed.

You cry when you get your period and wonder what you’re doing wrong. You’re exhausted by the process and can’t believe you have to do it all over again each month.

Infertility

Or maybe you’re past the point of feeling like it’s just taking longer than expected, and now you’re officially dealing with infertility.

You never, ever expected to be struggling with this and you hate it.

You hate how exhausting it is and how obsessed with trying to have a baby you feel. Sex has become a chore and you don’t remember the last time you were intimate with your partner just for fun. It’s so hard that seemingly everyone around you is pregnant and you don’t know when it will ever be your turn. There are so many decisions to make and all the options can feel really overwhelming. You hate feeling like your life is on hold until  you can get pregnant.

Miscarriage

If you’ve recently suffered a miscarriage or pregnancy loss, my heart goes out to you. I know how unbelievably painful and devastating this loss is and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

You felt so hopeful, ready, and already connected. And now it feels like the rug was swept out from under you. That you were duped. That your body betrayed you.

You’re probably searching for answers…and when you can’t find any, you likely try to find something you must have done wrong to cause this. Even though your doctor tells you that there was nothing you did wrong, it hurts so much and you want to find an answer.

Many women struggle with feeling desperate to get pregnant again…but terrified of what might happen. You’re not sure how you’ll be able to not feel overwhelmingly anxious the next time. You’re not sure if you can put yourself through that again.

Your Relationship

My guess is that if you’re struggling with any of these things, you’re also struggling in your relationship. You might feel disconnected from your partner, or worried that they don’t understand what you’re going through. You may feel a little alone, and like you can’t open up about how much you’re struggling with all this.

It seems like your partner’s experience of this is so different than yours and you don’t know how to connect. You really want to feel close again…you really want to feel like a team.

This is all incredibly hard.

Therapy can be a space for you (and your partner, if you want) that feels safe and supportive. It can be really helpful to have someone to talk to who gets it and can help you find ways to cope…somewhere to go where it’s just about you and your feelings. Somewhere where you don’t have to be careful about what you say and how it might hurt someone else. It can feel so nice to be understood and to have help finding a path moving forward…whatever your unique path might be.

You might also want help figuring out how to restore a connection with your partner. Couples therapy can help you both open up about your experience and how painful all of this is. It can help you understand each other a little bit better and figure out how to best support each other. We can talk about your sex life and figure out how you can be more intimate in ways that’s not always about baby-making. We can talk about next steps in your fertility journey, and figure out what is right for you both.

Come with your partner. Or come alone.

I’m happy to help in whatever way feels best – either with you and your partner, or just you by yourself. We can figure it out together if you want.

If you’d like some support, please reach out.